I’m thinking of reviewing the Princess Bride.
So I’m going to level with you all. I’ve never actually seen the Princess Bride. I mean, it was kinda playing once on a Greyhound I took from New York to Toronto, but I kinda dozed off during it because it was pretty boring and you can’t really enjoy a movie on one of those buses, with those tiny screens and such.
The sound quality is kinda weird on those buses, because while you do have what qualifies as surround sound if it was used appropriately, it’s really just twenty speakers all putting out the same monophonic sound. So it’s pretty shit.
Back to the Princess Bride. I’ve been really turned off from it for two main reasons. One, from what I hear, it acknowledges it’s own Fairy Tale stereotypes, but then instead of subverting them, goes even deeper into them. That’s just stupid. I don’t want to see another story of the guy rescuing the princess. I want to see the guy and the princess fighting along side, a Battle Couple! I want to see the princess take a sword and shove it through the dragon’s skull! I don’t want to see another rescue the princess story.
Unless it’s a new Super Mario Bros. movie, because that movie was so bad, that it was hilarious.
Second reason I’m iffy about the Princess Bride is because it’s popular. I know that even if the film is good, it can’t possibly live up to the hype that people have been generating about it for twenty years, and when I watch it I’ll just end up disappointed. That’s also why as of yet, I haven’t watched the Godfather, or Breaking Bad.
I did watch Akira this August though, and it didn’t really meet any of the hype, so that only serves to prove my concerns about films never really reaching the hype of being the reincarnation of Buddha and Jesus Christ at the same time.
Also yeah, that’s breast milk on that Teddy Bear. So fuck hype, because apparently going with hype will net me viewing experiences that require psychiatric evaluation afterwords.
Now, on the other hand, if I never watch the Princess Bride, I’ll have people hounding me for unfairly criticizing it, and to be fair, criticizing the film without watching it would make me a hypocrite. So yeah, I’ll have that review done sometime…whenever.