Fantastic Four (2015)
Imagine if body horror fetishist David Cronenburg, but terrible, and 20th Century Fox had a hot, sweaty baby, and Cronenburg got left alone with the baby, but while he was supposed to be watching...
Author: Jake Landau
Terminator Genisys
Terminator Genisys is so focused on referencing the first two Terminator movies that it forgets to be a good film in it’s own right. Beyond the initial layer of robot smashing, the Terminator franchise has always...
Avengers: Age of Ultron
When you subtitle your movie “Age of Villain”, you expect said villain to be, at the very least, some manner of threatening. When your villain is some manner of near-omnipotent ersatz god who lives...
Whiplash (2014)
If there is any movie from the past decade that you need to see, if you could only watch one last movie before you die, there is no doubt in my mind that it...
Unfinished Business (2015)
Unfinished Business is at least kinda funny, until you walk out of the theater and realize you just lost two hours of your life that you’ll never get back. Sacrificed on the altar of utter...
Focus (2015)
Focus is probably the first romantic comedy that didn’t make me say “comedy” with a sarcastic tone. That is, Focus, contrary to what the advertising will have you think, is not a heist movie....
Kingsman: The Secret Service
If you take your kids to see Kingsman, you no longer have the right to be a parent. This absolutely wonderful bloodbath should never be seen by innocent eyes unless one wishes to be...
The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies
Thus, the final chapter of the Hobbit trilogy brings the Tolkien film saga to a close. At least until Peter Jackson pulls another trilogy out of his ass, because why stop the money train...